I Will Follow You

Where to start...
It seems a lot has been going on in my heart and mind over the last few months.

About a year ago, I heard the song by Mike's Chair called "Let the Waters Rise".  These are the lyrics.

Don't know where to begin
Its like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?
sometimes its so hard to pray,
When You feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust You

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

I will swim in the deep
'Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm
And the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach
God, You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

I would cry everytime I heard it. It was like a prayer of my heart and I was telling God that He was my focus, my reason for life, and no matter what circumstances he chose for my life I would follow Him. There was no fear there.
I see now that it prepared my heart to come to place where I was completely surrendered with his plan for my life and nothing else mattered.

I began praying for God to give me a passion for his people and a desire to serve and to just forget about myself for a little while :) 
He did just that. In the words of Kay Warren in her book Dangerous Surrender, he has "gloriously ruined" me.  It's like he has opened my eyes to a needy world and I'm not longer satisfied or content with the way thing are going.

Figuring out my place in that needy world and what I'm meant to do with the gifts and resources I have is pretty much where I'm at.

So.... That said, I just decided to go to El Salvador with our youth in April.  And I am soo excited about this trip and other opportunities it could lead to!  In addition to getting to go and serve, it is with 3 of my sweet high school girls and one of my best friends :) We are going to serve deaf children.  It's kind of funny because I made a "List of Goals" (not resolutions) for 2011 and one of them was to brush up on my Spanish, but the thing with this trip is that there is a double language barrier!  So I am planning to learn a little of both, sign language and spanish. 

The one thing that terrifies me about missions, short and long term is asking for financial support.  I love getting letter from and supporting others, but I have a hard time with asking for help for myself.  But I've learned that there are those that "go" and those that "send". By not asking, I am keeping the opportunity for someone to be able to partner in the ministry. So, I won't be sending letters out, but I figured that I'd mention it and if you feel called to support my trip then let me know!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Pray for us as we prepare for the trip and for all the hearts of the people we encounter.

P.S. After re-reading this I realize how random and all over the place this is. Forgive me :)